Toyphonic Micraliser

Transform your music into something only a toddler could appreciate via the painstakingly captured, isolated mic & speaker Impulse Responses - perfect for those of you who musically peaked at nursery rhymes.

Curve, sculpt and inappropriately touch the behavioural qualities of the Impulse Response via the attack and decay controls, just don´t overdo it you brute.

We hand-crafted a musical, beastly quality control to exacerbate and crush the effects of the IRs which is very much needed to help you truly understand our genius, especially now that after years of blasting music through your ******* you´ve left your ears heroically useless.

15 'ethically' locally sourced, organic presets so your AI-reliant selves don´t have to think beyond the blinking and breathing part of your day. We even blessed you with a randomise button which is like infinite presets, how kind are we?!

Embrace change grandpa, employ the service of modulation via the LFO, Sequencer & Envelope Follower to keep things moving, just because your music is flat and boring doesn´t mean the automation has to be too.

We cannot be held liable for any personal threats or harm you may encounter upon being encouraged to sing into the Toyphonic Micraliser, you should have known better you silly sausage.